Parenting is Hard Work

It was Sadhguru who wrote that “Once you have a child, it is a twenty-year project – if they do well.  But if they do not do well, it is a lifelong project. He warned that if you are not ready for that, you should not get into it. But unfortunately, many couples think that for their marriage to survive, they have to have a child, he added. “A child is not a personalized project. We are creating the next generation. In some way, the next generation should be at least one step ahead of where we are. If we do not aspire and work towards that, we should not have children. What is the point if the next generation is going to be just like us, nothing more?” reason why I feel so proud when my 7years old daughter corrects my pronunciation sometimes 🥰😂 Parenting.

Being a nature enthusiast, I am always fascinated by the quality of attention some animals give their young ones, especially those with maternal and paternal instincts. If you see where a bird is building a nest to lay eggs, you’d marvel at the wonders of creation. I have witnessed how a mother bird will go back and forth taking food to her babies in the nest. And how they can fight off any threats like snakes coming close to their nests. I hear Cobra is one of the tiny few snakes with maternal instincts, and to imagine how such an animal constructs a nest without arms or legs, or a mouth that was designed for carrying something, not to talk of teeth for grips. All these are traits nature denied the Cobra, yet when the time comes to be a mother; the (Queen) King Cobra makes adequate preparations. Same with the Orcas, better known as The Killer Whale. Their reputation as a killing machine manifests greatly whenever they spot another great killer, the Shark. The manner Sharks run with their tail fins tucked under tells the story of the ruthlessness of the Orcas. But Orcas are not just about killing. They have something humans can learn, especially in raising a family. Orcas are female-led animals. They are also highly intelligent animals and very successful matriarchal animals. It is one of the three animals that go through menopause. The others are Short-Finned Pilot Whales and Humans. Female Killer Whales live twice longer as males, and they have evolved to induce menopause and stop reproducing as soon as their daughters are mature and ready for pregnancy and start having calves. This effectively prepares them for grandmotherhood because as the female Killer Whales get older, they assume leadership roles, leading their families by teaching them survival skills, routes to supplies of food, and also of migration.

When older Killer Whales have calves while their daughters are also having calves; the calves of the older females are less likely to survive than that of the daughter. This is because the grandmother naturally pays more attention to its grand-offspring than its direct offspring because it teaches its daughters to learn the ropes of survival. Another challenge it has is because it cuts down its food ration so that its daughter can eat more and produce more quality milk. By sacrificing its food intake, it is also endangering its own milk production thus its direct offspring will not have quality milk to nurture it. To prevent this, biology kicks in by switching on the menopause button because there’s no point in the older mother putting time and energy into a new calf that will most likely die. This choice is better for her—in terms of her genetic legacy—by not having calves of her own, rather helping her older offspring and their calves survive by sharing food and knowledge about where to forage, and by babysitting. She cannot reach her leadership potential while still nursing calves. She can go hungry for a week just to ensure her daughters and sons have enough to eat. This trait is a little different from what obtains in other female-led animal groups such as Elephants where older females live longer to share wisdom and knowledge with their daughters, but they continue to have calves as their daughters and even granddaughters are having calves. In Killer Whale families, sons and daughters stay with their mothers while mating with other Killer Whales in other families. Males generally live about 30 years, whereas female Killer Whales stop reproducing in their 30s and 40s and live for many more decades, up to 70 or 80 years. Ensuring their sons get quality attention is also important for these Senior Mothers because well-nourished sons attract top attention from females from other Pods. This is because the elderly females share in babysitting their grandchild with another grandma from another group. This builds relationships between the older Killer whale mother and females of other families which helps strengthen bonds across different family groups.

Parenting

What is good parenting? As your child grows and develops you will have to make many decisions regarding discipline and behavior. These are critical choices that can have a significant impact on the relationship you share with your child, Some things will help you make the best decisions possible regarding parenting issues: Be consistent in all aspects of your discipline strategy When deciding how best to deal with any situation that arises between yourself and your child, take some time before acting so that you can be as rational as possible, It may also be helpful to let someone else review the situation with you before making any firm decision about what measure to take. Do we only consider ‘discipline’ when the word “parenting” is mentioned? parenting is way far and above just discipline, feeding, and celebration of birthdays. Parenting is hard, Really hard! There are plenty of days when it feels like a thankless job and you wonder if anyone could possibly want to deal with the stress and sleepless nights that come with raising kids. Being a parent means giving your heart over to someone else for the rest of your life, It’s an incredible gift but it also means that nothing will ever be the same again once you make this decision. As a parent you have an opportunity to make right in parenting, making sure you don’t pass down your mistakes and bad character to your offspring. It is about sacrifice and compromise, it is about molding and transferring a noble legacy, it is about grooming, emptying oneself to the next generation to carry on. it is about nurturing, training, and imbibing values be it negative or positive. From the narrative above one can see that even other creations deal with parenting that humans can take one or two lessons too from. How well are you parenting your children in preparing them for their generation? Are the family values passed down? are they grounded? are you fully aware and prepared for the huge challenges that come with parenting? are you parenting a superb generation?? Time will tell if all we do as parents are just “water down the drain” (almost like it’s a fashion) OR a great job! 

Parenting Quotes

“A child’s success in life cannot be guaranteed but the opportunity for success can be provided.” – William Arthur Ward