Men And Their Responsibilities in The Family Are a Very Important Topic.
The Husband’s role within the Home can be Summarised as Follows:
To deal with financial matters and to handle his wife’s needs. He should also provide her with the company, conversation, and support when needed. It is essential for the husband to treat his wife with kindness and to make her cry of happiness. However, there is one mistake I have seen women make over and over again; to take over the man’s responsibility totally!
What makes a man thick? Men want to solve problems, only When he takes responsibility that he feels like a man and feels important and needed. Though most times some men chicken out But when he does take a kind of responsibility, he feels like a real man. He looks at himself in the mirror and he is proud of himself. When a man does not have all the money to take care of basic things like fees, rent, groceries, etc, That does not mean you should take over and start doing all those indefinitely. Still, give him room to make efforts and take responsibility. Still, let him make his contributions no matter how small, Involve him. Taking responsibility is more than just paying bills. It is being the one accountable for making sure things go the way they should.
What happens when you take over a Man’s Responsibilities?
1. You make him feel less important. You are paying the children’s school fees and doing everything without him even knowing about them. Sincerely, do you think you are doing him a favor? You are showing that the family can run without him. He appreciates you, but his confidence is eroding every day. It will even be worse if you are the one who will mention it during an unrelated argument.
2. You make him lazy: Yes, that sense of responsibility makes him task his mind and produce solutions. When you take over the responsibility, he gives them up and stops bothering his mind (unconsciously). Some men yes still use the time well to build themselves up and bounce back.
3. You put undue stress on yourself. Feminists can argue with this, but men and women are not built the same. The man is built to withstand more physical strain. As you take over the responsibility, the responsibility begins to grow and as they grow they put more strain on your system. no matter how strong a woman is built, at this time she will not be a superwoman! Take it easy. Let him carry some part of the burden.
4. You set yourself up for depression: Yes. Women are not built for that kind of load. When they do carry that load, they begin to have other expectations from their husbands which may not be feasible for them. They begin to expect for instance that since he does not go to work, he should at least wash the dishes. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, if I was that man, I will not even wait to be asked but Not every man will readily meet that expectation. When that expectation is not met, it becomes a problem. Better he does what he can, so you do what you can.
5. You set your children up: Many mothers who have given so much expect that their kids will pay more attention to them as they grow than they pay to their father. It will take a lot of discipline to not feel betrayed when they seem to buy their father a car before buying you one or even treating you both equally. Many such women expect that they should be better treated since they labored more. When it does not go that way, they feel betrayed.
Some of us women kick start this, playing a league way above the man . We decide a particular expensive school that the kids must go to, If the man tries to say he can not afford that, we insist, go behind him and register the kids there. the fact is we actually want the best for the children which are really good. eventually, end up taking over the fees, and he relaxes. I am not saying it will play out this way in every family. I am not saying he is right to relax. I am not saying the kids should not have the best. I am just pointing out what happens in many families. You should learn from it and know-how and what will work best for you. Allow him to take up his responsibilities even when he is contributing quota, half or nothing.
whichever way, do not stripe a man totally of his responsibilities, his responsibilities are his pride/ego with or without Money as it has a negative outcome in the home gradually, give him your support as you make a family decision without denying him of his responsibilities.
An Entrepreneur , B.A Foreign Languages ,PGD Health and Social care Management ,American Caregiver Association (Member) ACA Certified, Leadership and Management.